Say What?

Between the different accents and the “Ghanaian” English that is spoken, miscommunications often occur and they are usually quite funny.  Here are a few examples:

There is a young man, in his early 20’s, I inherited as a patient from another long term missionary when I moved to Nalerigu.  He has a chronic wound on his leg.  He came to me one day saying that he needed to talk to me . . .

S (in a hushed tone):  Doctor, could you help me count my pennies?
Me:  Why do you need help with that?
S: My mother never helped me.
Me:  S, you know how to count, why don’t you just count them yourself.
S (looking confused): When I was young my pennies was never counted and I would like to count them, could you help me?
Me (looking confused):  I don’t understand, there are no pennies in Ghana.
S (looking more confused):  My pennies, my pennies, when I was a small boy my mother never helped me count my pennies!
Me (looking at S with a quizzical stare): What are you talking about!
S (now yelling a bit and talking slowly): My mother never count my pennies when I was a small boy!
Me (with an enlightened face): Ohhhhh, she never CUT your PENIS?
S: Yes!  She never count my pennies and I would like it you to help me count my pennies now.
Me (relieved to be finally getting out of this confusing conversion): Okay, I think we can arrange a date for that.


There is a middle aged man, C, who guards our volunteer house during the day.  He tries to speak English, but it is very poor and his accent is horrible.  Every day C was going to one of the long term volunteers, Michael, and telling him that he was angry.  Michael would tell him that he was very sorry for his anger and that they should pray that God would resolve whatever it was in his life so that he could get over his anger.  They would stand on Michael’s front porch and pray that God would take C’s anger away.  This went on for a few weeks time.  One day someone else was at Michael’s house when C stopped by to tell him about his anger.  They prayed, C walked away, and then the guest turned to Michael and asked him why he prayed for him, it seemed a lot easier to just give food to a guy that is coming up and telling you that he is HUNGREY. 


Many of our common phrases are not understood here.  For example my neighbor, T, was talking to one of the drivers who makes the 2.5 hour trip to Tamale about three times a week.  T told him that he makes the trip so often he must know the road very well.  The driver agreed and then T said he knew the road so well he could probably make the trip with his eyes closed.  The driver looked at T with a very serious and concerned face and said, “Oh no, that would be very dangerous.”